Columbus Day Dreams
by Opaque Opal
Summary: My first Pushing Daisies fanfic. Based on Season 2. Emerson Cod believes that Christopher Columbus was an idiot. What will happen in a dream when Columbus is brought back to life by Ned? No slash, pairings, or Mary Sues. Please R&R!


**A/N: Happy Columbus Day, everyone! I had been thinking about this for a bit, and at first I was going to have an OC dream it. But then I thought Emerson Cod would be a better match. So hope you enjoy!**

* * *

It was a chilly fall day in the town of Couers de Couers. The few people who had decided to venture outside kept their heads down, walking quickly past _The Pie Hole _without a second glance.

"It surprises me that no one's coming in today," Chuck said thoughtfully, resting her chin in her hands.

"I'm sure they have very good reasons," Ned said simply. Except for the shipment of freshly-grown pumpkins, nothing had happened. Suddenly, the bell above the door tinkled, letting in a blast of cold air as it was slammed. Panicking, Chuck dove behind the counter just as Ned jumped over the counter; ready to stall the customer. He had been afraid that someone would recognize Chuck. And that would be bad, since she was supposed to be dead. But due to a gift that acted as both a blessing and a curse, she had been brought back to life. However, not many people knew of this secret. In addition, her aunts had been coming into _The Pie Hole _frequently. And if they had discovered that she was alive, the consqeuqences were too horrifying to imagine. To their relief, it was only Emerson Cod. He wore a knitted red scarf around his throat and had a grouchy look on his face.

"What's this, the Olympian hurdle competition?" he asked.

"There's nothing wrong with being careful," Ned said meekly. Looking over the counter at Chuck, he said "the coast is clear." Within seconds, she was on her feet, smoothing her sundress.

"What can I get for you, Emerson?" she asked. Ever since Olive had quit her job, she was responsible for tending to all the customers.

"Just some coffee and a slice of blueberry pie," Emerson replied, sliding into a booth. Ned took a seat across from him and crossed his arms.

"So have there been any new cases?" he asked.

"Nope. Everyone is probably too busy celebrating Columbus Day to even report anything," Emerson stated bluntly.

"Columbus Day is a really nice holiday though," Chuck said, breaking into their conversation as she set down the slice of pie and a steaming mug.

"But we're celebrating a holiday about an explorer's mistake. How dumber can you get?" Emerson grumbled, sipping his coffee.

"Christopher Columbus happened to be a very gifted individual. The technology just wasn't as advanced as it is now," Ned said.

"Well if there was any way to get hold of his remains, I'd have you bring him back to life just to laugh my ass off about his stupidity."

"But he died well over two hundred years ago. His bones have probably been crushed into dust," Chuck reasoned. Emerson gave her a look, but didn't say anything else.

* * *

Finally, night had come and Emerson had climbed into his bed. Feeling unnaturally tired, he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

_Emerson was standing in what looked like a morgue. Ned was standing over a body in fancy clothing, looking repulsed. _

_"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ned asked. _

_"Hell yes!" Emerson replied. Checking his stopwatch, Ned put his forefinger on the body's arm. Immediately, a golden light surrounded him and the person was alive. _

_"Hello, Christopher," Emerson smiled. The explorer's green eyes found Emerson's brown ones. Smiling slightly, he began to speak "Oh ho! Are you here to discuss about my successful trip to India?"_

_"No, I'm here to discuss how retarded you are. You didn't land in India. In fact-" _

_Pulling out a small map of the world, Emerson pointed to the Caribbean._

_"You landed here. And India's all the way over here. So you were pretty far off course." _

_"That couldn't have happened! I saw Indians!" Christopher cried desperately. _

_"No. You saw Native Americans, they're completely different," Emerson replied cruely._

_"You have ten seconds!" Ned cried. _

_"So you mean you brought me back to life only to make me realize that I didn't discover India but another country?"_

_"Well, you technically didn't discover it. The Vikings did, so you're a failure," Emerson laughed. Christopher Columbus looked like he had been slapped across the face. His eyes started to well up, but before he could cry Ned touched him again, causing to collapse back onto the metal table. _

_"Did you get any satisfaction out of that?" Ned asked. _

* * *

However, Emerson never got to answer that question. For at that moment, he had awoken. Despite the fact the dream was strange, he felt slightly better. And with that thought, he rolled over and went back to sleep.


End file.
